Breathe In..Breathe Out....

I guess this is going to be kind of a rambling post. My emontions right now are so mixed up..scared, excited and so many other things. A little over two weeks ago I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. Breaking up with someone that you thought you would spend the rest of your life with and someone who you hadn't been apart from for more than a couple days in 12 years is a huge life change. I know without a doubt that I have made the right decision. I knew by a power that was not my own that in order to look to my future and the things I want for the rest of my life I had to do it, but it doesn't make it any easier. Some days are so good, and some days are so bad. Luckily, I have been blessed with a great class this year, teaching them helps me get through those bad days :) The fact I am "single" seems so weird. I hardly remember what that even means or how to act! My family and friends have been so supportive, and more than I could ever ask for. I have to keep reminding myself that there is a reason for everything and that because I am doing the things now that I know I need to do (I am in no way perfect) and because I am being faithful in following the things that I know I need to do that things will start looking up! My sister sent me a card in the mail telling me how proud of me she was for taking this leap of faith, and thanking me for being an example to my niece, Payton, when I get sad I have to remember how important she is to me, and as she grows up how important it will be that I am a good example to her in all I do, including Temple marriage. So for now it seems like it's all I can do to breathe in and breathe out and just get through the day and hope tomorrow will be better :) The last time I remember being this hurt and confused was when my Grandpa Dee passed away. I know with my Heavenly Father's help I will be able to get through this and just have to have hope and faith that everything with work out for the best and how it needs to. I know that I have to rely on Him and keep doing those things that are important, as hard as it is right now. I am so grateful for my wonderful friends who have listened and helped me get through this. Becca, who never gives up on me no matter how negative I get and just keeps promising me tomorrow will be better. My sister and Mom and Dad have been so good in supporting me in this decision and checking in with me, and basically just letting me know that they will support me no matter what decision I make or what I do, and that means a ton! And of course my grandma who always worries about and calls to check on me. For now, I have to just keep repeating to myself the old phrase "Time heals all things!"